sarcasticsquirrel: (evil bucky)
well i spent the day with my mother. first we went to the steppingstone cafe and had lunch. that was nice. then to REI to get me a swim suit for my class this fall. she didnt call me fat or anything. we went to see march of the penguins. it was cute but it was sad. penguins dying and freezing in the south pole winter. dead baby penguins. aww. before going into the movie when mom gave me money for a soda she asked dont i have money, cuz im a working girl. i said that sounded wrong and she said she thought it was pretty fucking accurate. after the movie we went and got me goggles to go with teh suit. then we went to see the animals. she told me if i didnt get worm treatment for fred shed call the humane society and have fred taken away. she ended up buying it cuz i wouldnt, couldnt. she also compared me to a little mini greyhound. the rest of the day with her i would rather forget. of course i cant. she told me im a whore. she said dodger is my pimp. that hes a sick fuck. that he sits on his fat ass while i get naked for people to feed his fat gut. she said she wants to go here and shoot him. she tried to get me to give her his legal name so she could run him through government systems to dig up dirt. shes done it to my dad and run mine. she wants to do this to him which is unethical and illegal. she said i didnt have to tell him, he didnt have to know. which is even more fucked up. she yelled at me and said horrible things. the whole thing was awful. and i wanted to tell her off but i couldnt. i never can. i fucking hate her sometimes. i try to tell myself that shes my mom and she loves me, but im not convinced.
sarcasticsquirrel: (corset falearntofly88)
my mom can be a raging cunt beast sometimes. ok, this time wasnt all that bad, i just have been having an off day and didnt need it.

shes back from rome. i didnt tell her ive run my finances towards china. i did tell her i dropped my class. she didnt ask about the money from that. thankfully. she did lecture me about how i havent switched my benifits since moving and that im sleeping at the wrong time and i know how bad it is to only be awake when its dark and that i should be proactive and such and such. and she told me that i sounded whiney and pathetic. i didnt need this shit from her.

but tomorrow we are going shopping. ill have to tell her about the money. shes gonna kill me.
sarcasticsquirrel: (dodger waiting)
the post i made about having a baby was a joke. and a test. i wanted to see how people would react. and i wanted to see if anyone would offer. i thought it would be funny. and also serious in that it would show what people really thought. dodger was in on it the whole time and was really great and being a sweetie while you guys tore me apart.

you all failed. except jess, who was really awsome. you put me down, attacked my personality, my stability, said awful, hurtful things. you were assholes. and you dont know a damn thing.

i do plan to have kids. not right this second. but i do. and i wont be garunteed better than i am now mentally and emotionally. hell, or even financially. that doesnt mean the kid will grow up in a bad home or that i wont take care of it. also, i would never go off looking for donor spooge. when i have kids it will be with the man i love, dodger, and he will be more than happy to be a part of the experience.

you can all suck my big fat nonexsistant cock. i hope you choke on it.
sarcasticsquirrel: (grosspoint  wild_rice_icons)
i shouldnt be upset and really have no right to. but it still hurt me. while i was telling micah no dodger was out at a club with a girl getting drunk. he wanted to make friends great. he wanted to fuck her. not my right to say no. but he asked me not to do anything with anyone else. said he wasnt ready for that. so what the fuck? he thinks im ready for him to be doing that? he acted like he wasnt ready for that and he wanted us to be together as the next ones we are with. but guess not. now hes all go fuck whoever you want. and im like well i want you. i still want the next lips that touch mine to be his.

he apologized. got all down on himself. but why? its not my right to be upset. he shouldnt have to apologize. he got ditched aparently. and hes drunk. hes not even typing right.

yeah im upset. and i feel wrong for it. he can do as he pleases. who he pleases. but the way this was done just seems wrong. he was telling me he wanted me to himself for awhile but those rules dont apply to him?

he says its harder for guys, that the hormones effect them more. ok, i know the research on this shit. but i have hormones too. doesnt mean im out getting fucked by everyone every time i feel the urge. i told him he has a brain and should use it. i use mine. and i know hes capable of using his. though with the alcohol in him thats debatable. of course he chose to drink it. i dont think we are ruled by our hormones. i dont think guys have to be led around by their dicks. i know plenty who arent. hes making it sound like he is. well then he shouldnt be telling me how he wants me and isnt ready for anyone else and isnt ready for me to be with anyone else. if hes going to follow his hard on he can at least not try and feed me lines before hand.

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sarcastic squirrel

January 2017

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