sarcasticsquirrel: (daria)
im watching high fidelity. somehow i feel like scott should be here to watch with me. hehe.
sarcasticsquirrel: (pet penguin)
this is a rant by the person who does the web comic something positive. he is ranting about a movie that is very dear to some of my friends hearts. like owen and aurora. read, laugh, enjoy...

At Anime Fest, some readers gave me a DVD for a movie called The Apple. It's a musical from 1980.

And it's proof that these were obviously readers who do not like me.

I've seen some shit in my day. I can recite to you the movie Avenging Disco Godfather. But this was just utter crap on every level, and barely worth making fun up. It's got some typical misogynistic overtones ("Oh, those women - always wandering off to evil and led so easily there - good thing we men are about to lead them back on the right path") and a female lead who is every date rapist's dream come true ("I've known you for five minutes. Here's a pill. Swallow it. I promise you'll be fine." "OKAY!") and, best of all, IT'S AN ALLEGORY FOR THE BOOK OF REVELATIONS! Yes, because we needed the end times to be turned into a shitty rock opera where all the cars are 1978 Buicks with Jetsons fins on them. Oh, and it all takes place in the futuristic world of 1994. Oh, and there are hippies. And, of course, hippies are the only ones who truly understand the true nature of all that is good and corporations are all evil.

I have endured some cinematic bowel movements in my time but I'd rather take a thermite enema while all my ex-girlfriends sit around me in a circle and ask me about my feelings than watch this putrid nonsense again. How the fuck did this thing get greenlighted? How in the Hell did someone read this awful script, where in the future record companies run the world and judge how popular a performer is by monitoring their audience's heart beats (no, I'm not joking) and say, "Yes, that will catch the attention of the movie viewing public"? There are less contrived plotlines in Winx Club slashfic written by sexually confused pre-teen girls. Someone owes me a fucking apology for this thing existing.

And I swear to Jesus, the next one of you die-hard Rocky Horror fans comes up to me at a con and starts bitching at me about how much you hate Shock Treatment and how it is "the worst movie ever," I'm going to force your anus to prolapse with a crowbar, drag you into a dark room by your hunk of rectal meats and make you WATCH this abortion.

So... fucking... angry this movie exists. Christ. There's no excuse for this shit. None at all. I hope everyone involved in its production got some strange and confusing STD during the making of it, like Kitten Hepatitis Z. God fucking damn.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go ejaculate some rage for an hour or two. -R
sarcasticsquirrel: (broken jebrasaramean)
pain of the mind can often be worse than pain of the body. there is some grounds to the belief that genius is touched with madness...

im watching little man tate. this part always used to stick in my head and make me feel...frightened. but i need not worry. im no genius. im a lot dumber than i seem.


sarcasticsquirrel: (Default)
sarcastic squirrel

January 2017

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