sarcasticsquirrel: (bastard filling 7thedition)
im missing an entire bag of clothes. nice ones, one of the bags of clothes that was for school. this is a trach bag size bag. some of that stuff was new. im pissed. i think someone stole it while i was moving in. i dont know what else could have happened to it. ill call melissa tomorrow and ask her if we left it, but im thinking it was on this end when things were being hauled up. dammit. im really pissed. i just wanted to wear one of my nice new plain shirts to school tomorrow. and they are gone.
sarcasticsquirrel: (sacrifice by phone a_curst_shrew)
im almost done unpacking. busy busy.

school tomorrow. nervous.

peter called to say his plane landed. hes not comming over though. what a bitch. gee, missed you too. no flower or naked ashley for you. =p

in other news micah has told me just now that if im ever single again he still wants to date me. im not interested in him taht way anymore. this is the 3rd relationship ive been in where he wanted to date me and told me so. *sigh*
sarcasticsquirrel: (gnome sunnysky)
i move tomorrow at 10am. i hope i can steal some internet for the next few days. comcast comes on wednesday. classes start monday. sunday i will be unpacking like a mad woman. im almost one packing the last of my stuff. ive left the box open to put my shampoo in. ill run a last load of laundry in the morning with my sheets an towel in it. i have my wheeled luggage bag open to put my last minute things in. im oing more laundry now. packing one last kitchen box.

tomorrow i will need to go to the store and grab a few things after i move. i need juice, paper towels, plastic wrap, garbage bags, butter, an a few tv dinners.

i cleane lyrras cage, shes ready to go. im actually prepared. look at me all grown up.

i would like to thank tim. he came over and helped me pack. he didnt have to. but he bussed all the way out here and moved all my boxes into one central location then packed a ton more. thanks to him im almost done. yay tim.

i would also like to thank jay an candy who have volunteered themselves for the moving tomorrow. not only are they helping with one of everyones lleast favorite tasks, they will also have to deal with my mother. not just my mom, but my mom under stress. oh my. they are both very sweet, helpfull people. yay jay and candy.

i would also like to thank god, my parents, and the academy. wait, no, wrong speech.

back to packing...
sarcasticsquirrel: (fuck un_den_iable)
the apartment thing is taking so long. now i might not get approved till monday. which would mean moving my first week of school. fucking wonderful. an they nee more information from me. which i must now try an wrestle from psu somehow. fuck! i hate this. i just want to move in.
sarcasticsquirrel: (duckie pink moonfish)
i should get the ok on the apartment on friday, tomorrow. to get in before school starts i need to move in saturday. moving is taken care of. but i nee help packing. anyone have time?
sarcasticsquirrel: (me blue naked)
havent hear on the apartment yet. monday should know for sure. so behind on packing. cant even deal with it. grr.

said goodbye to peter tonight. hell not be back till next sunday. sadness. i did the clingy girlfriend thing. i can be really annoying. i just dont like the fact that i wont see him for a week.

tomorrow it will be one year since ive been raped. im not looking forward to spending the day alone in my room. but no better option has opened up as of yet.

not much else going on. looking forward to being moved. nervous about school starting. consiering watching secretary tonight. and possibly sweet november. im such a girl. i miss my blue hair. damn getting a normal job. btw i made a new icon...see!
sarcasticsquirrel: (little miss sunshine tigerlily_icons)
i know i havent been posting anything real.

been doing more apartment shit. didnt eat for 2 days and peter got mad at me. finally have all the apartment paperwork done an shoul be getting my approval either tomorrow or monday. its taken so long to get approved that my mom is just gonna hire professional movers to get me in as fast as possible so i can unpack before school starts.

got the new ani album. i like it. its not earth shatteringly good, but i like it. peter is leavin town for a week in a couple days. this makes me sad. weve never spent that much time apart. last time we spent any real time apart was when i went to sf to see dodger. things are much different now. only a month an a half later. well ill be moving an unpacking. he will be seeing family an friends. and hopefully he will miss me. im afraid he wont.

talked to will tonight on the phone. good to talk to him. hes one of my favorite people. then i met a creepy guy from online. we went to barnes an noble with a starbucks attached. he was creeeepy. and he hugged me. bad. no touchy!

now im getting ready to watch a movie. micah might be helping me pack tomorrow. im wonering when im going to see peter before he leaves. if i am.
sarcasticsquirrel: (clem bright tiny-girl)
while he was talking i felt physicallly ill. i was trying not to throw up. i have that reaction to upsetting things.

i think its good that i can cry. it keeps me from doing other damaging things as much.

i havent hurt myself. im not saying i wont, but i havent. im trying to get myself together. falling apart right now wont help anything. it will only make things worse. i just have this pain inside me.

maybe i should be on meds.

i kinda want to go to the hospital. but they dont take me unless i do something drastic. and i dont think inflicting injury in a serious manner on myself in order to get locke in a ward is a good idea at this time.

an i have packing to do. an moving. and unpacking. an school.

i still need people for saturday to help me move. please. i need help.

i need help in a lot of ways. but the move i guess is most important.

i nee help emotionally, mentally, i need to be held, an talked to. but ill settle for people who can lift furniture or boxes.
sarcasticsquirrel: (volkswagon backseaticons)
had to change the move to next saturday. joe cant help and im not sure about micah. jay an i cant do this alone. please, is anyone free next saturday? i am not good at lifting and need people on the other end of the furniture. i will feed you!
sarcasticsquirrel: (pirate flag marvolo_icons)
i applied for a place at lovejoy station where i use to live a few years ago. im pretty sure ill get it. if i do ill be moving in next weekend. so, an yone up for helping me move? afterwards ill order pizza for all my hungry little workers. also if anhyone wants to come over this week for a few hours and help me pack the rest of my shit thatd be really nice. i dont have that much stuff thats not already boxed up. but its kina messy so it feels overwhelming. but everything feels less overwhelming with friends.

basically i need someone who can rent a uhaul next weekend. i can pay i just cant rent or drive one. not sure if joe is available. i also need people capable of moving furniture. peters back is shot. i cant lift furniture worth shit. i can barely carry a gallon of milk. i will also need maybe a couple more people for box lifting. and someone to hlp me clean up my room woul be nice if anyones jp for that in the few days after i move. thatd just be like vaccuuming and scrubbing things down to be nice to my roomate.
sarcasticsquirrel: (fuck un_den_iable)
in other news i got my mail. finally. turns out that the office knows im living here and am not on the lease. they had them stop giving me my mail. dammit. have to get out of here fast. hes gonna start giving me my mail again though. thats better than nothing.

i really need to step up the apartment search. need to be out of here as soon as i can. yep yep. no more time to waste.

got my psu id in the mail. could be uglier. not sure about this account thingy but whatever.
sarcasticsquirrel: (me jacket)
in case there were any doubt in this, never post a picture of yourself on craigslist. i was looking throught the platonic stuff and seeing lots of pictures so when i made my ad looking for people to talk to i put a pic of me at the bottom. ive gotten several dozen emails. some were fine, some offering lesbian sex whie the girls boyfriend watches, some talking about how pretty i am in sleazy an broken english. dammit.

in other news, my mother is a bitch. but we knew that already. she bitched at me for quite a while today. and about things that werent even under my control. yay.

tomorrow i need to go to the psu bookstore to fin out how much my books cost. then the post office to find out why im missing several weeks of mail. then to verizon to get a printed bill. fun fun. and possibly seeing jim tomorrow. then buffy.

i made a new build a bear the other day. his name is matthew and hes awesome. ive finished looking through my boxes thanks to peter. now we need to put everything back in the closet, reorganized and less of it yay. and i need to get rid of things still. an i need to clean. and do laundry. and i want to sell some stuff on ebay. my place is gonna be clean and organized when im done.

still need to find a new place. my mom says she will chip in 100 per month. shweet. but i will still have to model. because my non-rent bills will be around 150-200. so even if i have 700 that only leaves like 500 for rent. and thats not a likely scenerio.
sarcasticsquirrel: (fuck un_den_iable)
my mom just bitched me out over events an people i cannot control. she is mad my roomate is moving out in a week. i cannot control my roomate. this isnt my fault and i couldnt have predicte this. she sounde like she planne to stay long after i left. no i int ask if she was renting me a room then going to leave right after i moved in. i shouldnt have to ask that. she is trying to get someone to take over the lease. but she is leaving next wednesday. if she cant im fucked. i will need to rent a storage unit and couch surf for a month.

she was also ranting about dodger. saying if he really wanted me down there hed have been looking for places already and hed be prepar for me an blah blah blah. she said i shoul make sure he really wants me down there and that he will have a place when im ready to move at the end of august.

im stressed enough, i dont need this shit.

ok so this is horrible i know but i was wondering if any of you who i could potentially stay with on occassion over ngiht would comment here so i ha a list of available floor or couch space to draw from if needed. also anyone know a place i could cheaply rent a storage unit for a month thatd hold all my stuff, about a studio appartments worth.
sarcasticsquirrel: (daria)
the packing feels so overwhelming. i know i dont have that much stuff. i guess everything is just a mess so it seems worse. someone should show up with a magic wand and make my shit be packed. or at least help me get shit down from high spots.

ok so i figure its time for my what should i read this summer so my brain doesnt liquify post.

so far in my not read books pile at home i have

one flew over the cuckoos nest
brave new world
strip city
the pirate book i got (forget teh name)
farenheit 451

possobly mroe i forgot. and im reading the amber spyglass by phillip pullman.

so recommend:

a classic

one of your favorites

something you think would be good for me

something light

something heavy

something you think id love but never choose on my own

and anything else you want.
sarcasticsquirrel: (illyria beviltera)
went to powells today. got a book on pirates and a book on strippers. met up with sarah for coffee. i always like hanging out with her. always much laughing and talking and randomness. she is funny and smart, which are the things i look for in someone to sit around and talk with. so that was good. now im back home. not doing much really. i really should do some packing. going to see a room for rent on sunday and again on tuesday. i think i want the one on sunday more. its cheaper and id have my own bathroom.

i may need some help packing. if someone were to want to come over and help to pack up the kitchen and stuff sometime in like a week or so id give them like 5 bucks or something.
sarcasticsquirrel: (scoobies red engravedicons)
anyone who reads my lj looking for a roomate for the summer? needs to be trimet friendly, cat allowed, and i eat meat. i can pay for my own cable and internet. i am not loud or annoying or very noticable at all but i can hang out if youre around and wanting company.
sarcasticsquirrel: (af real world heavenli-ee)
so i need to move by the end of june. im going to start calling places tomorrow and see how grim this is. i dont really want to live with someone i dont know (rent a room or something). but i thought id check with the lovely people on my lj friends list and see if any of you are needing a roomate or looking for a new place and would like to team up. if so let me know.
sarcasticsquirrel: (angel icon)
im just so angry and hurt and sad and depressed and scared that i feel like i cant breath, i cant even think straight. i never thought hed really leave me here. im terrified about gathering up the cash to get another place up here without having to crawl back to my mother.
sarcasticsquirrel: (wesley sacrifice beneathgulmissy)
so my dad cant do my hair cuz he is going to arizona to start up his drug dealing again. he said hes sorry to disappoint me, which might have meant a lot if i didnt know he was only refering to the fact that he cant do my hair for me. he is a constant disappointment. and totally unaware of it.

talked to dodger last night. he says he doesnt think he can get an appartment by the end of june. he is focusing on finding a repacement job for september. he doesnt think he has the time or money to find an apartment. which means that i need to do something or at the end of june ill be homeless. if i can get into them there are some places that i can afford. but i have to work around my criminal record and i need to come up with the money for the security deposite and the pet deposite. ive bookmarked some places on apartment guide. its too early to check craigslist. i didnt apply to any schools up here so i guess ill be out of school next year, at least for a while. im still waiting to hear if i got accepted to the college down in sf. if not then either way im out of school. and paying off my fucking student loans.

i dont know what will happen to dodger and i. he wants me to get a place and then come down and see him all the time once he gets an apartment, while im waiting for my lease to end. or to break my lease. i dont want to be in a long distance relationship for more than a few months. and i dont want to uproot my life every few weeks, transport fred and me down there then back up again. all of this totally sucks. and im not sure that he sees me as all that important. i know im less important to him than a nice job or some level of success so he can feel like he has the ability to control everything. i cant talk to him about any of this really, he gets really upset. it seems i cant talk to him about a lot of things anymore. i used to be able to just talk to him. but now if it isnt something he can just fix then he gets all upset when i just want to talk about my life. seems he only calls me when he needs me to turn off bit torrent or to do something on his computer for him. he may talk to me afterwards but the reason he calls is to have me do something for him. and when i call he is busy and distracted or doing something or tired. as sad as it was, i think i almost prefer the dodger over the summer that at least missed me a lot and cared that i wasnt there with him.
sarcasticsquirrel: (dodger waiting)
spent my last night with dodger on tuesday night. finished the book we were reading and cuddled.

yesterday he packed and we went to the train station. and i held his hand and hugged him and he kept telling me itd be ok. then he was gone. and i stood there watching the rain fall on the train tracks. and then the train went by. and i walked out into the horrible wind and rain.

i wasnt ready to go home. went to lloyd center. got a new shirt with penguins on it and an emily pillow case. i came home and watched law and order and did my homework and watched the musical buffy episode once more. i went to bed really early. his pillow smells like him. i think im still pretty numb.

snowed a bunch last night. sure you guys all know. seems my train will still be on time. so im getting ready to go to seattle. spend a few days with my nana.


sarcasticsquirrel: (Default)
sarcastic squirrel

January 2017

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