sarcastic squirrel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sarcasticsquirrel) wrote2005-06-26 05:27 am
sarcasticsquirrel) wrote2005-06-26 05:27 am
(no subject)
it has been a wierd evening. lucas offered to pay off my debt and pay for me to go down and live with dodger. if i left tonight. gave up everyting, my friends, my home, eerything ive ever known, and go be with dodger. i wanted to. but i hesitated. i hesitated too long. lucas went to bed.
i want to go. i want to go. i want to be with dodger. no matter what i have to do.
lucas wouldnt answer the phone, or texts or anything. now i am left wodering if he changed his mind or was maybe even never serious. this has made things worse. cuz i got it in my mind i want to go do this and now he feels further away cuz the chance was dangled then pulled away.
im not making it here. im not surviving. i really need this. i wish id just said yes without thinking. becuase once i did think the answer was still yes.
now i dont know what to do.
i want to go. i want to go. i want to be with dodger. no matter what i have to do.
lucas wouldnt answer the phone, or texts or anything. now i am left wodering if he changed his mind or was maybe even never serious. this has made things worse. cuz i got it in my mind i want to go do this and now he feels further away cuz the chance was dangled then pulled away.
im not making it here. im not surviving. i really need this. i wish id just said yes without thinking. becuase once i did think the answer was still yes.
now i dont know what to do.