sarcastic squirrel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sarcasticsquirrel) wrote2006-05-02 05:51 pm
sarcasticsquirrel) wrote2006-05-02 05:51 pm
(no subject)
im still waiting to hear from the other college i applied too. im getting nervous.
math class isnt going well. psych class is going really well though.
dodger came up on saturday. it was nice to have him around. we went to the delta diner and we rented king kong. we went to v for vendetta the next day, he hadnt seen it. and we went to hive.
i dont really feel close to the people i used to hang out with. but i had a lot of fun at the club. we danced around like idiots. i would like to hang out with owen sometime. but the thing about him is that i am tired of his public entertainment persona. i like him one on one. i dont like hanging out with him in groups. sarah was there. it was nice to see her. i hardly ever get to talk to her, which is too bad.
i feared that dodger comming to visit would only make the long distance thing harder. that id feel more alone and even worse than before after he left. and i was right. and i dont even know whats going on now. i know i want to be with him, i want to make this work. but hes saying he doesnt think he can afford to get a place in time for when my lease is up. then he shows up with his new ipod and his new computer and his new clothes and i now he got a new desk and hes talking about getting more stuff, talkingabout all these new toys hes going to get. and im thinking so is this why he cant afford a security deposite? i dont want to think that being with me is a lower priority than a flat screen monitor. but thats how it seems to be. and when we had sex he closed his eyes the whole time and i wondered who he was thinking about that he didnt want to look at me. i just want to know where i stand and whats goingon and whther i should be putting my heart and energy into fighting for this relationship.
math class isnt going well. psych class is going really well though.
dodger came up on saturday. it was nice to have him around. we went to the delta diner and we rented king kong. we went to v for vendetta the next day, he hadnt seen it. and we went to hive.
i dont really feel close to the people i used to hang out with. but i had a lot of fun at the club. we danced around like idiots. i would like to hang out with owen sometime. but the thing about him is that i am tired of his public entertainment persona. i like him one on one. i dont like hanging out with him in groups. sarah was there. it was nice to see her. i hardly ever get to talk to her, which is too bad.
i feared that dodger comming to visit would only make the long distance thing harder. that id feel more alone and even worse than before after he left. and i was right. and i dont even know whats going on now. i know i want to be with him, i want to make this work. but hes saying he doesnt think he can afford to get a place in time for when my lease is up. then he shows up with his new ipod and his new computer and his new clothes and i now he got a new desk and hes talking about getting more stuff, talkingabout all these new toys hes going to get. and im thinking so is this why he cant afford a security deposite? i dont want to think that being with me is a lower priority than a flat screen monitor. but thats how it seems to be. and when we had sex he closed his eyes the whole time and i wondered who he was thinking about that he didnt want to look at me. i just want to know where i stand and whats goingon and whther i should be putting my heart and energy into fighting for this relationship.