well today started out really shitty. had to get up before i wanted to. was picked up for a shoot. taken out to somewhere where i hjad no clue where i was to this guys house. he kept touching me. my first tip off that this guy was no good was that he kept comming up and physically posing me. you dont touch a model without asking. then he said he was too hot and took his pants off. so he was in his boxers with his dick hanging out of the bottom of them and hes like straddling me to get some of the shots and hes touching me all over and yanking me around and he had little spots of precum on his boxers and he was lookin at me funny. and he made me do really trashy poses. and i was afraid. so i didnt protest any of this and i should have. then he dumped oil on my crotch and rubbed it in without even fucking asking me. and i was so sure at that point, though id suspected before, that he was going to rape me, that the oil was just the beginning like with that other guy. but he didnt. i made it very clear after that that i wanted to leave.the whole time he was shooting i was thinking i hate you i hate you i hate you. and i put no effort in, i gave him no help. you can totally tell wheni dont want to do a shoot. i did the poses he made me do and offered up nothing more. he takes shitty pictures anyways. he took me home. thankfully. and i felt so dirty and wrong and horrible and i wanted dodger to be there when i got home but he wasnt.

john picked me up and we went to pcc to drop off my appeal to get my financial aid back. then we went to see walk the line. it was good. then i came home.

dodger had me open my presents tonight. he says he still has to get me the furby. but he got me a pirate playmobile and a pink leather ipod case to protect it and a zoo tycoon 2 endangered species expansion pack. yay. i want to build a zoo with deadly drop bears in it. im excited. and i set up my pirate and his maps and stuff and i put the case on my snazzy ipod. yay. i had him open his green lantern shirt and his hickory farms gift set. yay.

then jess brought his new friend kimber over and we all four played poker for a while, then we switched to pictionary. dodger and i kicked their asses. and dodger did a lovely sketch representation of communism. haha. then we all started drawing random pictures and having the rest of us guess them. then she went home and dodger went to bed. im headed that was soon as well. have a shoot tomorrow night. and possible movie with mom saturday and lunch with dad and brothers sunday and another shoot sunday. *sigh*

well, i must spread the word. everyone should download or go listen to richard cheese. he does bad lounge covers of songs. like everything from metalica to nirvana to britney spears. yeah. its so fucking funny. everyone go listen.

in other news im a big dork. im trying to get sims 2 working on my computer and i am hopeless.

jess is staying with me this weekend while he works security at kumoricon. cool cool.

club on sunday. people should come.

seeing my mom on monday. *sigh*