sarcasticsquirrel | (no subject)

no one ever really talks to me about anything. thats because i have nothing to say. i dont have enough knowledge to discuss anything. people tend to fin me really interesting when they first meet me. ive live life. i have stories, i can talk about myself, my issues an the things that have happened to me. but once you get beyond that its easy to fin there isnt much else there. i know a lot about some tv shows, movies, that sort of thing. but i dont know much else. bottom line: im boring. i dont have much to offer. im a sweet girl. and i am intelligent, but im wasting it. im good with clothes. i can dress up an i can match outfits together. i can shop. so basically im shallow and materialistic. greeeeeaaaaat. i ont know who im kidding with this psych degree. i had a more realistic idea thinking i could do wardrobe for tv shows. i know how to make outfit changes for character development and change of mood. i can show things through the way someone is dressed. but all of this sounds stupid and void of any worth to me. peter and i talk online. but in person if we arent eating or fucking he is almost always on his computer or reading the paper. i think i bore him. i dont think he has anything to say to me.

i put some ads on craigslist for modeling tonight. i was a fool to think i could get a regular job. i need to get back to what im goodd at. dressing up an taking my clothes off. im one step away from being a whore. this is what im good at. my body is what i have to offer, always has been.

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I'm not sure if I've said this before, but reading books can help, both fiction and non-fiction. That way, if a topic comes up that you've read about, or people start talking about a book everyone else has read, then you have something to say. This might sound dumb, but history books are sometimes the best. Not only do they have stories in them, but they're stories that are in some way relevant to today.