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now for the update from my trip to seattle...
7-3
it was hard to tear myself away from the computer, from dodgers face and my last chance to tlak to him for days. beat the bus by a block, dragging wheeling lugguage behind me and hauling a backpack too. got downtown to wait for the next bus. the one that trimet.org said would come didnt and i had to wait a good 10 minutes for another bus to union station. then i hauled ass and all my stuff into the train station and into a long line. people tried to cut in front of me cuz they were trying to catch the train leaving in a few minutes. gee, so was i. the same guy totally blocked me when i went to get in the moving bording line too. i tossed my stuff in line and ran into teh gift shop to buy a pen then grabbed my bags and showed the attendant my ticket. its been over two weeks since i was on a bus back to portland. that is not my home. my home is laying safe and cradled in the heart of a man who, as this train moves, gets further and further away. i got an aisle seat. i hate that. had to put my bag in the area by the door and dodgers backpack at my feet. listened to some music, watched the train welcome movie. the in train movie today was guess who? with bernie mac and ashton kutcher. i had wanted to see it but had been embarrassed. i liked it. hehe. theres an hour left of this trip, time for more headphones.
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went and got nana a cell phone. reperfected smiling and nodding. went to dalys for dinner. fish and chips and a butterscotch milkshake from dalys is always good. spent the night at the condo. watched independance day on tv. part of it made me think. he was saying he had been part of something great. youd have to see the scene to understand. he was refering to his relationship, in response to his wife tlaking about career. im not just gonna be dodgers ashley. but this is what i want to do with my life, my relationship with him. everything else is secondary in importance and can be sacrificed if need be. after the movie i was thinking about him, missing him. and i heard a text come in on my phone. i thought perfect timing. but it wasnt him. that made me sad. he hasnt sent a text from his computer at all and i have no way of contacting him. tuesday night ill be back and can see his sweet face again, tlak to him again. nana is kinda annoying me. she doesnt really listen ever or care what i think or say. so half the time i dont even bother.
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7-4
got up late. helped nana learn how to use her new cell phone. it was slightly patience trying, but she caught on. she also gave me $200 for appartment stuff. which means my phone can stay on. yay! went and got a burrito. played spite and malice. i owe her $1.60. haha. damn. the fireworks were beautiful. and they played true colors during part of them, which was my favorite song as a little girl. when i went to sit on the deck in the cold and wait for the fireworks i wished dodger was there with me. instructions are as follows: sit boyfriend in chair, place the ashley in boyfriends lap, put previously mentioned boyfriends arms around the ashley, cover with blanket, tilt heads up, watch fireworks. last year lucas came with me. i texted lucas with a belated happy 23rd bday and texted tom with a happy bday firecracker boy. apparently i like to date boys who are born in the very beginning of july (lucas is the 3rd). wel, no, honestly i just love cancers a lot. also got a call from micah. he was worried about me. he said hell pick me up from the train station tomorrow and on wednesday we will sit down and talk. i would like to be friends with him. i do not want more. i dont know how this is going to go. well tomorrow is maybe movie, maybe cards, definitly food and train. then i can tlak to my boy again.
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7-5
(1:40am) he finally texted me. i feel better now. id thought maybe hed been too busy to think of me and hadnt really missed me. i feel beter now.
****************************************************
ate, playted more cards. packed. she gave me a billion lbs of fruit to take with me. ate steak and baked potato. went and got on the train. sitting next to an interesting guy. being way too open as usual. hes cute, thinks i am too. hes napping now. 2 hours till we are in portland. micah will be there. sometimes i dont know what im thinking. i want so much for people to be good that i deny any evidence against it.
*********************************************************
micah picked me up. took me back to my place. i went in. i picked up fred. i turned on the computer, tlaked to dodger. its good to be able to talk to him again. ive been down tonight. and i made it worse by reading through a bunch of old shit from my lj's. read stuff about james, the abortion, ect. read stuff from when michael was living with me. read his lj for awhile, but that made me smile. dodger is being goofy. i miss him. will have to remedy that soon. i think my mom gets home soon from rome. thats good, except i have to tell her that i maxed out my credit card...
i need to finish posting my posts from the sf trip but im not gonna do it tonight i dont think.
7-3
it was hard to tear myself away from the computer, from dodgers face and my last chance to tlak to him for days. beat the bus by a block, dragging wheeling lugguage behind me and hauling a backpack too. got downtown to wait for the next bus. the one that trimet.org said would come didnt and i had to wait a good 10 minutes for another bus to union station. then i hauled ass and all my stuff into the train station and into a long line. people tried to cut in front of me cuz they were trying to catch the train leaving in a few minutes. gee, so was i. the same guy totally blocked me when i went to get in the moving bording line too. i tossed my stuff in line and ran into teh gift shop to buy a pen then grabbed my bags and showed the attendant my ticket. its been over two weeks since i was on a bus back to portland. that is not my home. my home is laying safe and cradled in the heart of a man who, as this train moves, gets further and further away. i got an aisle seat. i hate that. had to put my bag in the area by the door and dodgers backpack at my feet. listened to some music, watched the train welcome movie. the in train movie today was guess who? with bernie mac and ashton kutcher. i had wanted to see it but had been embarrassed. i liked it. hehe. theres an hour left of this trip, time for more headphones.
***************************************************
went and got nana a cell phone. reperfected smiling and nodding. went to dalys for dinner. fish and chips and a butterscotch milkshake from dalys is always good. spent the night at the condo. watched independance day on tv. part of it made me think. he was saying he had been part of something great. youd have to see the scene to understand. he was refering to his relationship, in response to his wife tlaking about career. im not just gonna be dodgers ashley. but this is what i want to do with my life, my relationship with him. everything else is secondary in importance and can be sacrificed if need be. after the movie i was thinking about him, missing him. and i heard a text come in on my phone. i thought perfect timing. but it wasnt him. that made me sad. he hasnt sent a text from his computer at all and i have no way of contacting him. tuesday night ill be back and can see his sweet face again, tlak to him again. nana is kinda annoying me. she doesnt really listen ever or care what i think or say. so half the time i dont even bother.
***************************************************
7-4
got up late. helped nana learn how to use her new cell phone. it was slightly patience trying, but she caught on. she also gave me $200 for appartment stuff. which means my phone can stay on. yay! went and got a burrito. played spite and malice. i owe her $1.60. haha. damn. the fireworks were beautiful. and they played true colors during part of them, which was my favorite song as a little girl. when i went to sit on the deck in the cold and wait for the fireworks i wished dodger was there with me. instructions are as follows: sit boyfriend in chair, place the ashley in boyfriends lap, put previously mentioned boyfriends arms around the ashley, cover with blanket, tilt heads up, watch fireworks. last year lucas came with me. i texted lucas with a belated happy 23rd bday and texted tom with a happy bday firecracker boy. apparently i like to date boys who are born in the very beginning of july (lucas is the 3rd). wel, no, honestly i just love cancers a lot. also got a call from micah. he was worried about me. he said hell pick me up from the train station tomorrow and on wednesday we will sit down and talk. i would like to be friends with him. i do not want more. i dont know how this is going to go. well tomorrow is maybe movie, maybe cards, definitly food and train. then i can tlak to my boy again.
****************************************************
7-5
(1:40am) he finally texted me. i feel better now. id thought maybe hed been too busy to think of me and hadnt really missed me. i feel beter now.
****************************************************
ate, playted more cards. packed. she gave me a billion lbs of fruit to take with me. ate steak and baked potato. went and got on the train. sitting next to an interesting guy. being way too open as usual. hes cute, thinks i am too. hes napping now. 2 hours till we are in portland. micah will be there. sometimes i dont know what im thinking. i want so much for people to be good that i deny any evidence against it.
*********************************************************
micah picked me up. took me back to my place. i went in. i picked up fred. i turned on the computer, tlaked to dodger. its good to be able to talk to him again. ive been down tonight. and i made it worse by reading through a bunch of old shit from my lj's. read stuff about james, the abortion, ect. read stuff from when michael was living with me. read his lj for awhile, but that made me smile. dodger is being goofy. i miss him. will have to remedy that soon. i think my mom gets home soon from rome. thats good, except i have to tell her that i maxed out my credit card...
i need to finish posting my posts from the sf trip but im not gonna do it tonight i dont think.
