![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Dec. 30th, 2004
curled, eyes wide against
dark fluff,
face of innocence,
you do not notice
my claws
shining from under
the vulnerabillity
of exposed belly.
you pet me,
and i strike,
leaving a bloody memory
of me,
an ink blot test
in your mind
that makes you wary
of touching soft cuteness,
the kind that turns your
good sense to mush.
dark fluff,
face of innocence,
you do not notice
my claws
shining from under
the vulnerabillity
of exposed belly.
you pet me,
and i strike,
leaving a bloody memory
of me,
an ink blot test
in your mind
that makes you wary
of touching soft cuteness,
the kind that turns your
good sense to mush.
ok, this is an audience participation post. but well get to that part in a minute.
when i met my friends when i was 18-19 (not all my friends, but my biggest social circle) i was totally in awe. i thought they were so cool, nothing like id ever been around. and i lived at home still and they were independant and they went places in the middle of the night and they were strange and cool and talked about things that no one else in my life did. and they took me to parties and they exposed me to things and they helped me grow up. i learned a lot, and i changed a lot. and i had a lot of fun.
but ive never fit in. and ive grown bored. and i think ive outgrown most of them. i limit my intake of this crowd at this point. sometimes i go to the parties. and i do go to club. i like to dance and i get to see everyone at once. except sarah, who i miss. shes one of the ones i havent outgrown. but i never see her.
i thought that these people were really open minded and accepting. but ive grown to see that in reality they are elitest snobs, they just run in a different social circle so they are accepting of a different tiny group of people that they deem cool enough, real enough, good enough to be one of them. im still wondering how i ever got into this crowd. they must have just taken me on sarahs recomend. or owen thought me interesting for awhile and everyone always follows owen so i was in.
owen is like a cult leader. i like him. i get bored of him easily, but i like him. i was once a follower of owen. but he is an attention whore. and he demands a lot of time from people. time im no longer willing to give him. and im no longer interested in having him mold me into who he wants me to be. people are drawn to him. hes very charismatic. he gets followers wherever he goes. but he is irresponsible and doesnt really care about the consequences that things have on other peoples lives.
i guess ive just changed too much at this point. i still enjoy these peoples company on occassion, but i cant be around them that much. i dont think it was ever good for me really. it breeds instability. i miss them sometimes, but in the way that i miss high school or other things from when i was younger, wishing i could go back and experience things again but im not that girl anymore and i cant be her, i cant live that life anymore. i guess i am dissappointed and disillusioned by my friends. they arent as good of people asi thought they were.
now the interactive part. tell me in a comment when or if youve ever come to this point with your primary group of friends and what happened with that.
when i met my friends when i was 18-19 (not all my friends, but my biggest social circle) i was totally in awe. i thought they were so cool, nothing like id ever been around. and i lived at home still and they were independant and they went places in the middle of the night and they were strange and cool and talked about things that no one else in my life did. and they took me to parties and they exposed me to things and they helped me grow up. i learned a lot, and i changed a lot. and i had a lot of fun.
but ive never fit in. and ive grown bored. and i think ive outgrown most of them. i limit my intake of this crowd at this point. sometimes i go to the parties. and i do go to club. i like to dance and i get to see everyone at once. except sarah, who i miss. shes one of the ones i havent outgrown. but i never see her.
i thought that these people were really open minded and accepting. but ive grown to see that in reality they are elitest snobs, they just run in a different social circle so they are accepting of a different tiny group of people that they deem cool enough, real enough, good enough to be one of them. im still wondering how i ever got into this crowd. they must have just taken me on sarahs recomend. or owen thought me interesting for awhile and everyone always follows owen so i was in.
owen is like a cult leader. i like him. i get bored of him easily, but i like him. i was once a follower of owen. but he is an attention whore. and he demands a lot of time from people. time im no longer willing to give him. and im no longer interested in having him mold me into who he wants me to be. people are drawn to him. hes very charismatic. he gets followers wherever he goes. but he is irresponsible and doesnt really care about the consequences that things have on other peoples lives.
i guess ive just changed too much at this point. i still enjoy these peoples company on occassion, but i cant be around them that much. i dont think it was ever good for me really. it breeds instability. i miss them sometimes, but in the way that i miss high school or other things from when i was younger, wishing i could go back and experience things again but im not that girl anymore and i cant be her, i cant live that life anymore. i guess i am dissappointed and disillusioned by my friends. they arent as good of people asi thought they were.
now the interactive part. tell me in a comment when or if youve ever come to this point with your primary group of friends and what happened with that.
