sarcasticsquirrel: (clem  skeleton theothernight)
i just organized all my clothes. i have a lot of fucking clothes. these werent even the ones that im storing cuz they are for winter. and to think i got rid of like 3-4 garbage bags of clothes before i moved.

so my room is done and it looks nice. and on the 24th i am going down to san francisco to visit dodger and go eal with school stuff for fall. i am looking forward to seeing dodger. is there anyone who could drive me to the airport on monday the 24th? its an 8pm flight so i want to get there at 7.

well i havent been getting much work and im pretty broke. which fucking sucks. all my money is going into the application fee for school. my slleep schedual has been really messed up. ive been getting up between 4-9pm and going to be between 6-10am. ugh.

i havent been doing much. ive been sitting around watching movies mostly. an i still go to buffy at the mission theatre every monday night. ive mae some new friends. serenity is a sweety. she is fun to hang out with and she goes to buffy with me which is fun.

my other new friend is peter, jays roomate. weve been talking online and we hung out thursday night. we talked and went to sharis and then hung out some more. he is good to talk with and hang out with. he is cute too. =)
sarcasticsquirrel: (sunshine butt)
met with a photographer this morning. then got together with will and hung out. thats always a good time. also picked up an inflatable punching bag thing of the president. yay.

yesterday i went up to pcc rock creek to get a letter of recommendation from one of my old teachers. went and saw my friends. the campus was different. thered been contrustion. the geeks had their own little lair now. saw craig. ive always been strangly drawn to him. it was good to see him. i was kinda sad he has a girlfriend. we always used to flirt and it was fun. also picked up a leather jacket yesterday. i like it. and it was on sale cheap.

my trip to seattle was ok. saw failure to launch and pride and prejudice. my nana is a major health nut. its so fucking annoying. she wont eat any normal food anymore. she took me to get fish and chips cuz i wanted thme and yelled at a lady that worked there for not knowing what oil they used to fry the fish. but the trip was good in general. no fighting. saw a preview, they are releasing a movie about flight 93, one of the 9/11 planes. first of all ick. second double ick on the exploitation of human tradgedy and also the renewed fear i think itll evoke in people.

my nana is losing her mind. we weere on the freeway and she was in the middle of changing lanes when she gripped the wheel and got all wide eyed and started yelling "where are we going? where are we going?" then she remembered that we were on our way to the movies. said she must have been on autopilot the whole way till then. but really i think that while on the freeway she forgot what she was doing. and that scared me.

my mom is having muscled weakness and soreness in her arms. its been going on a few months. she can barely open doors. its scary.

i went to the dentist yesterday for the first time since i was 19. shes going to check again after a cleaning but so far im going to be getting 13 fillings. fuck! ive never had a cavity before. this sucks. my teeth are so bad she needs to numb me for the cleaning.
sarcasticsquirrel: (stitch ducks spiffydaze)
The Friendly Five

Who was your first best friend?
i had two, james and erica. she was always in pink and white and she was blonde and looked all sweet and girly. i was always in jeans and truck t shirts and had brown hair. we looked like opposites. james was great, and he had lots of toys and a tree to climb and we picked berries. he had curly brown ringlet hair. and i was sure i was gonna marry him. then he died of cancer at the age of 8. only good james ive ever known. i blamed myself for his death. kids do that. if i hadnt moved away...but i know better now.

Who have been some of the most influential people in your life?
bad:mom, james, step dad. good:mom, marion, victoria, sarah, owen, tom, lucas. (too early for dodger, but someday)

Do you usually have one best friend or a lot of close friends?
i usually have a few friends that im close too, maybe one main one but not always.

Do you believe people of the opposite sex can be best friends and not lovers?
yes, definitly. of course most all my friends are guys so its easy for me to say that.

Have you ever fallen in love with a friend?
sarcasticsquirrel: (piggy gir ___starlight)
saw my mom today. she was annoying as usual. then she took me to lloyd center to meet up with jess. jess and i got some food court food and then went across the street to see charlie and the chocolate factory. i was hoping for something really dark. and it started and it totally reminded me of the beginning of edward scissor hands. and i was like yeeeeeessssssssssss. excellent! it was all brightly colored but totally warped and dark. i loved it. I WANT A TRAINED SQUIRREL!

jess and i went back to my place and hung out. i wasnt feeling well. finally got my period, a week late. and i stayed home for a little bit after jess left, tlaked to dodger. then i met up with nathan, the guy from the fred meyer who asked me out. it wasnt a date, just hanging out. turns out hes 30, looks like 25. acts even younger. he was boring, immature, stupid. not a total asshole. but not osmeone im gonna want to spend a lot of time with. annoying. whatever. at least he bought me food. he also knew owen. i need out of this town. everyone knows everyone. the more i spend time around other people the more i appreciate dodger.

i got less than 4 hours sleep. so im tired. and bored. which doesnt help me stay up. tomorrow i am gonna hang out with tom then im going to hive later with trenton. yay.
sarcasticsquirrel: (bc fritters)
i went to my interview today with another photographer. he was really nice, used to be a psychotherapist. i start next week. it looks like itll be ongoing work for 50-60 an hour. he wasnt creepy at all.

also saw pete today. he gave me a new hard drive to add some space to my computer. then we got dinner and i helped him with his math. felt good to be doing math i understand and am confident about. he gave me a back rub and then he left.

been talking to dodger. i like doing that.

im feeling really down right now. i lied and told him i was ok. so he wouldnt worry. it was a slow fall into it but he had me laughing doing silly things so he didnt see the progression cuz it was covered by laughter on the outside as my mood fell. then when he stopped being silly i just crashed at the bottom.

i was also tlaking to dodger about real friends vs not real friends. i dont have a lot of real friends. and im really sick of most people. i mean really. most of my friends arent real friends or were but arent anymore. most of them are barely aquantences anymore. a lot of that is as much my fault as theirs. i dont really have a support system anymore and i dont feel close to most people and i dont think most of my so called friends are very good for me.

im older now. im not in awe of the "cool people" anymore. i dont feel the need to fit in or to let them tell me what i should do or who i should be or let them mold me or make my decisions.


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sarcastic squirrel

January 2017

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