sarcastic squirrel

so yesterday i got up and was home for a bit then i get ready and head out in my costume. it was cold and i didnt see anyone around dressed up. felt embarrassed. saw tim and he liked my costume. as did a random guy. and i met a model at the streetcar stop and we talked. she was nice. i went to class. gave out candy. took 3 quizzes. im ready for the first exam. yay! im speeding up. its gonna be alright. one of the ta's told me my costume was hot.

went to therapy for a minute to show off. then i grabbed some food and headed for the art institute. i like going into art schools. the walls are covered with fun things and i think it must be so fun to go to one of those places. i talked to the human resource lady. then i went to the class. 3 hours of doing poses, all standing, all having to be exagerated and animated looking. they were doing some really neat drawings but my back was fucked afterwards. i went back out in the freezing cold and wlaked home. then peter came over. we went for food then back to my place. got ready and dan arrived too. he looked cool. peter was adorable! and he liked my costume too. i tried on his ears and nose this morning. it was cute. anyways so we all three took my pumpkins downstairs for a send off of being outside for people to see. then we went to the club. i didnt have as much fun as last year. the venue was not as good as the crystal and the mood was not as fun. peter hated it. dan seemed to do alright. he danced which was cool. peter danced with me. that was my favorite part. i loved it. i danced by myself a bit. i love dancing. i saw charles. that was cool. need to hang out with him soon. also saw brent and ilia. that was good. i miss them. saw stephanie. and some other people. saw owen. and aurora. and bill. i felt at home and out of place at the same time. people kept telling me id been a stranger.

i felt like i didnt know who i was anymore. ive changed how i look, how i dress, im going to a new school and hanging out with different people. i think i felt like i could have a normal stable life if i did this. but im denying part of who i am. strangely im not sure who i am anymore. or what i want. well i know what i want in the long term but not in the short term. and im not sure that what im doing will make me happy.

today i went to class. then i went and got nice gloves from macys. they were on sale. i was happy about it. yay warm hands. then i went to office depot and got more blank dvds and a program for making houses on my computer so i could play with it. and i asked for a usb cord to connect my camera to the computer. i showed my camera and the port to them. i get home and they gave me the wrong size. after i showed them right where i needed to plug the fucking thing in! grr. have to go back tomorrow and exchange it and then go drop off the employment paperwork at the art institute.

	racoon pumpkin
	bunny pumpkin

i need ideas for what i should be for halloween. so comment with ideas you think would be good for me. if you can post pictures of your idea even better.

i was a pirate last year.

had a good halloween. though i did not get to trick or treat there was much fun to be had. dodger helped (translation: did most of) me prepare my costume. i was a damn good pirate. when i get my digital camera stuff installed ill put up pix. marinet was a wench so that was perfect. dodger was a donut eating cop. halloween is sposed to be scary, right? hehe. we went to hive, which was held in the crystal ballroom this time. more space, and boy did we need it. there were still too many people for my taste.

walked around and talked to people. got up on stage when they did the costume contest, at dodgers insistance. i didnt even make the top ten but there were a lot of people. all well. i danced, drank a shirley temple, hung out. saw leanne, and brenton and several other people. dance with brenton and with dodger. dodger got rather intoxicated, as tends to happen with the zoloft mixed with alcohol. he was funny. but he was also having a blast, which was good. he danced and was all happy. and he looked cute in his jacket and stuff.

went to the tic tok after the club. ate and hung out. ended up getting depressed near the end. was really tired by the time i got home. dodger and i curled up and went to sleep.

there were other things going on. teasing and playfullness. and someone who ive been attracted to for awhile was just made aware of it and while fun, i fear the consequences of the whole thing. i dunno. i wont go into it more.

i have a pumpkin named franklin. i drew on the face instead of carving. i made it a jack o lantern cat.

my teeth hurt when they arent coated in plaque. and not only that but on the bottom in front my gums seem to be open and not bleeding, but i can see the red of blood. i dont understand. but its not good. even the air hurts my teeth. they are so far gone. with my ohp insurance they are going to want to pull them. i dont want a mouth with no teeth.