(no subject)

[sarcasticsquirrel]

i want to cut my chest open and expose my ribs. but i have an interview tomorrow, hav e to be nude. i keep cutting but its not enough. i squeez the cuts to make them bleed more after they stop or if they dont bleed. and it hurts and its still not enough. and i want the blood. i do. and im not stopping. and im getting worse. and i dont know what to do anymore.

and he needs me and he needs me to be strong and im not there enough for him. and he needs me not to go in the psych ward and leave him laone like that. so i need to figure out another way to protect myself from me. i dont know what to do. i dont know how to cope. i cant take care of myself and i cant trust myself.

im never gonna make it down there am i? i wont keep myself togehter that long.

Comments

[ladyxbug.livejournal.com]

You need to take care of yourself first or you're going to be no good for him whatsoever. i know it's hard to think of it that way, but both of you being sick is not going to help either of you through this. good luck.