sometimes i get really bullshit cliche things running through my head, not the amusing things like whinnie the pooh bondage scenes. i was playing solitair and thought what did i do to deserve this? (the rape not teh solitair). and then i was like no i know what i did. i made another stupid risky decision in a long line of stpid risky decisions thinking that either my gut feeling would be wrong or id miraculously get out of things unharmed. that kind of luck, which id had up till now, only lasts so long. shit is bound to catch up to you. no one is immune to the bullshit and cruelty of life. the fact that i was so cocky about my ability never to have this shit happen to me is my own damn fault. this is all my fault. i deserved this. now to deal with the consequences of my actions.